Bittersweet

I asked God for a job and He provided a job.

A few weeks ago, at Dimension Cristiana church, the pastor challenged us to think about this: that when God provides something we have asked for, why do we complain? Why are we ungrateful for the very thing that God provided when we asked? Pastor Dan explained that the Israelites did this over and over again in Old Testament history... praying for deliverance and then complaining when God actually delivered them. Praying for a leader and then complaining about Moses. Praying that God would act and then blaspheming Him by making golden idols.

I have thought about this a lot in the last few weeks. I asked for a job. God provided a job. Now I have to decide whether or not I am going to complain about it.

There's several factors that go into my temptation to complain:

 1) The job is in Costa Rica. My family and many of my friends are here in the States. I've learned over the last couple years that I really miss being part of my friends' and family's lives a lot.

 2) I won't have my best friend Trish to daily share life with.

 3) I am deeply exhausted from 6 months of ongoing illness and 2 years of teaching in a school that runs in crisis mode.

4) I have recently recognized a want (maybe a need?) to be part of a deep-rooted community. I don't have that communtiy in CR despite having been there 2 years as several good friends have come and gone during my two years there. It feels like any community I do become part of just disappears for the next school year. (Kim V., Erin, Tricia G, Laura, Judit, and Trish have all been young women I have connected with on a deeper level during the last two years and they are all no longer in Costa Rica). I am tired of starting over.


So the temptation to complain is great because I like to think my human logic is somehow broader than God's logic. Then I am reminded over and over again in His word that He is a lot bigger than me and has a plan that is bigger than just me. All my reasons fade away as I remember that His grace is sufficient for me, that He promised Paul  in 2 Corinthians (and us!) that His power is made perfect in our weaknesses. I have a lot of weaknesses here to work out, and God knows that. I also am reminded in Matthew 6 that my Heavenly Father knows what I need even before I know or think to ask. As I prepare to return to Costa Rica after a short month at home, I choose to dwell on these truths.

He provided a job, and He'll provide the rest.